Class is in Session!


September means a lot of things; Leaves changing colors, early mornings and late evenings are no longer unbearably hot, and of course students of all ages heading back towards school.

Here at I would like to hold class and give out some grades, and fall project assignments to our beloved Reds.

Student name: Luis Suarez
Extremely Early Season Grade: A
Excels in: Goal scoring, Drawing a bevy of defenders to him, Assisting goals
Needs improvement in: At times Luis has a little trouble staying on his feet, looking for referee to bail him out
Fall grade potential: A+
Fall school project: Luis plays extremely well with others, too well in fact. Luis could benefit from being a little bit more selfish inside of the 18 yard box. 100 shots a day for an entire month.

Student name: Andy Carroll
Extremely Early Season Grade: C+
Excels in: Aerial play.
Needs improvement in: Andy has come oh so close to opening his 2011 goal account. With being a little bit more clinical in his finishing, Andy will become a huge goal threat in the box.
Fall grade potential: A-
Fall school project: Andy must control his emotions and focus his energy on scoring goals. Opponents will continue to try and get under Andy’s skin until he proves it doesn’t bother him.

Student name: Charlie Adam
Extremely Early Season Grade: B+
Excels in: Set pieces, pass distribution
Needs improvement in: Charlie at times does not play well with others, and is known to have a rash challenge or two.
Fall grade Potential: A
Fall school project: Charlie has had more than a couple shots from the midfield go astray. Watch Xabi Alonso film and practice

Student name: Jordan Henderson
Extremely Early Season Grade: B
Excels in: Midfield play, shots to the top corner of the net
Needs improvement in: Not becoming invisible for long periods of time, better quality wing play.
Fall quarter grade potential: A-
Fall school project: Study tapes of Stewart Downing, and emulate his wing play and ability to cross balls into the box

Student name: Stewart Downing
Extremely Early Season Grade: B
Excels in: Wing play, crosses into the box, set piece service
Needs improvement in: Clinical finishes, dribbling
Fall quarter grade potential: A
Fall school project: Train extensively with Steven Gerrard, learn how to be a stone cold finisher.

Student name: Pepe Reina
Extremely Early Season Grade: A+
Excels in: All things goalkeeper related, looking badass
Needs improvement in: Best goalie in the Premiership doesn’t need to improve
Fall quarter grade potential: A+++
Fall school project: In my honest opinion Pepe has been great so far. The only goalie who saves the goal Vs Sunderland is either Gumby or Superman.

What do you think? Was I too harsh, or too nice to our “Students?” Agree or Disagree in the comment section.


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One thought on “Class is in Session!

  1. Mike

    I completely agree with your assement of Suarez. I’ve been of fan of him since his days at Ajax. He ends up on the ground WAY too much, if he toned it down to like once every other game or something that would be great! Also, going along with simply taking more shots, he should take opportunities with his left foot too! Yes, he may be more accurate/powerful with his right, but he’s s solid weak foot striker.
    Great job on the Report Card! Love this website!


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